Mojave

by Stefani Reeder

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about

Music and poetry revolving around the beauty and freedom of the open road, open arms, open heart and open mind.

Telling only true stories of
Wanderlust, Loneliness, Wayfare and Adventure.

credits

released July 21, 2015

Music & Lyrics written by Stefani Reeder
All guitars by Brian Poston
All percussion by Eric Baltrinic
Keyboard/Synth by Stefani Reeder
Engineering, production, mixing and mastering by Gabriel Swarts
Recorded in Kent, OH, 2014.

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Stefani Reeder Nashville, Tennessee

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Track Name: Battles
I'm living the high life in motion,
Never knowing where i'll land.
Some people call me hopeless,
Living life without a plan.
But I've got my life in the backseat,
Packed in boxes and in bags.
Nothing and no one attached to me,
So many miles ahead.

This is me giving up my denying,
This is me giving up,
This is me giving in.
I've seen this road before it's full of lying.
I'm busy wandering,
I can't keep fighting these battles.
I'm busy wandering,
I can't keep fighting these battles.

Every time I come back to this place you all call home,
I figure out more than you know.
All you do is make me feel so alone,
I'd rather be alone somewhere more beautiful.
It ain't worth my time my grass in Ohio is dead,
I didn't see this coming, did you?
Look at the life I left and the one ahead of me,
I live a little different than you.

This is me giving up my denying,
This is me giving up,
This is me giving in.
I've seen this road before it's full of lying.
I'm busy wandering,
I can't keep fighting these battles.
I'm busy wandering,
I can't keep fighting these battles.
Track Name: The Day I Left
it's been a long and wasted summer,
I left you around mid July.
I never thought I'd be looking back so soon,
But we never really got to say goodbye.

And I rushed it I know I did,
Why did I run?

The day that I left I should have turned myself right back,
I have some unfinished business to attend to with you.
It's too damn cold out here and my heart craves for your desert air.
I didn't breathe in enough of you when I had my chance to.
I'm sorry that I left so soon.
Please forgive me.

Nothing had ever been so beautiful,
Nothing before was so brand new.
i tried, despite the walls that I built around,
To keep you, but I let go.

And I look back 1000 miles and I wish I'd stopped where I was.
Why did I run?

The day that I left I should have turned myself right back,
I have some unfinished business to attend to with you.
It's too damn cold out here and my heart craves for your desert air.
I didn't breathe in enough of you when I had my chance to.
I'm sorry that I left so soon.
Please forgive me.

And now the sun sets its golden rays,
All my anticipated brighter days,
Fall away from me,
As I lie awake alone and realize they're not ahead of me.
They're not ahead of me.

The day that I left I should have turned back.
Track Name: Without A Star
Gravity.
That's what you are to me,
when I soar away and try to leave.

You were what pulled me out of this mess,
When I had strayed too far.
Now i'm the least of you worries at best,
And I live without a star.

Talk to me.
That's al I really need.
I think I've said enough already,
without letting you watch me bleed.

I've given up hope saying what i need to,
I don't think you care at all.
I doubt that I could even get through to you,
So all I'm left to do is fall.

I hope I left a mark on you,
And you carry it through.
I've said it before but I'm sorry for doing that to you.

I hope I left some love behind,
When I left you.

After all I hope i lead you home.
Track Name: The Situation I'm Scared Of
I've laid it all down,
That i know what you're saying.
I understand now,
You make amends in your singing.
I've pulled you aside,
And I'm saying sorry even though I know that's not enough.
And I'm telling you how I'm nervous around you,
And approaching you at all has been so tough.

I've been circling around you telling me how hard you tried.
It's torn me apart knowing your words were breaking me and mine,
And every word you ever wrote,
You meant.

We're sitting down now,
On some couches in your memory strong room.
I'm telling you how I never stopped,
Thinking everything was beautiful about you.
But I put up a front,
Purposefully pushed you far away from me.
So you didn't think that we'd ever be what you wanted to,
'Cause it would have fucked everything up to this day.

After all of the hurt so much positive came from this,
You were always so down on yourself,
Now you're stronger than I've ever been and ever will be,
And you're telling me you're okay.

I'll leave you alone now,
Since that's what you've wanted for so long.
But take with you my apology for never giving you the love you deserve.

You sound so wonderful standing up there,
And that hat you wear looks darling.
The lights hit you in such a magnificent way,
And I love you for what you gave me.
I hope you feel the same way about me.

I'm not asking you to love me anymore,
I'm not asking you to miss me anymore.
Track Name: Jumping Trains
You moved down to the city on the water,
Then came back just to be a good daughter.
The only heart that you hold that you're proud of,
is the one to which you make the best love.
You ain't the human I'm used,
You're love will move and outgrow you,
Still the heart that you hold that you're proud of,
Is the one to which you make the best love to.

Don't I have anything to miss?
I can't believe that you're fine with this.
Don't I have anything to miss?
It's like you're jumping trains just to get away from me.

I promised a kiss in Hickory,
But you never came to get me.
I put up wanted signs for you,
But when you rode back in town you just shot me down.

Don't I have anything to miss?
I can't believe that you're fine with this.
Don't I have anything to miss?
It's like you're jumping trains just to get away from me.

You wrote that song about me,
I hear it every night,
You can't fool me.
Every time you play it loud I swear to God I hear you out.
But what about what we talked about before I ever even went down south?
I thought I meant much more to you but times change like people do.

Don't I have anything to miss?
I can't believe that you're fine with this.
Don't I have anything to miss?
It's like you're jumping trains just to get away from me.
Track Name: So Happy
I feel like here my dreams ain't kept alive,
Every star I meet is just passing by.
But you sold your soul for this and nobody bothered to mind.
Nobody bothered to mind.
I mask it all in shades of jealousy,
I see those doing well and then I see me.
But my fix is just complaining and nobody wants to hear that.
Nobody wants to hear that.

What is your secret?
What is your secret?
How do you be so happy?

i find myself leaving quite often,
I'm pretty drawn to just up and running.
But I mean it when I say I miss what I leave behind me.
I miss what I leave behind.

What is your secret?
What is your secret?
How do you be so happy?
Track Name: Nebraska Birds
These colors may be loud,
Oh no, but don't you worry.
I've had my fair share of tears from this town.
A victim of my own family.

Yeah I know i think too much.

I know I've let you down,
Your heart felt so left out.
I want so bad to say sorry,
But I'm scared you won't even let me.
Nebraska, Nebraska birds,
Are on the move, too.

I've wandered off too far,
I'm off my highlighted roadmap.
I'm not quite sure where I belong,
but I tried to stay here and water my dead grass.
But not a blade would drink my love,
No, not a blade would drink my love.

I know I've let you down,
Your heart felt so left out.
I want so bad to say sorry,
But I'm scared you won't even let me.
Nebraska, Nebraska birds,
Are on the move, too.

But it's different now,
There's room in my mind open for you still.
Even I know it ain't the same as it was before.
Our pattern, never the same, never the same.
Our pattern, never the same, never the same.

Don't let me fool you,
I ain't as brilliant as you once said.
1000 miles or two just had to do,
I did my best to make you forget.
Now I wish you knew why I did that.

I know I've let you down,
Your heart felt so left out.
I want so bad to say sorry,
But I'm scared you won't even let me.
Nebraska, Nebraska birds,
Are on the move, too.
Track Name: The Day I Left II
The day I left I should have turned right back.
You don't know how much I thought about that.
You don't deserve to be left like this,
You don't know how much I've missed your kiss.

Turn off your fight,
(Before I leave again.)
Turn off your fight.
Track Name: There You Are
I call on you and there you are,
There you are,
There you are.
And when I'm gone, too, there you are,
There you are,
There you are.

I'm a simple mind,
sturdy and a-roamin' through these hollow trees.
I won't leave behind,
Anything and anyone precious to me.
Still I wonder, on my way 'round,
Where you are.

I change the time and there you are,
There you are,
There you are.
I cross state lines and there you are,
There you are,
There you are.

I'm a sturdy mind,
Simple and observant on these lonesome trails.
I won't leave behind,
My winding road even if it costs me fail.
Still I wonder, on my way out,
Where you are.

I call on you and wonder where you are,
Where you are,
Where you are.
I say I miss you and wonder where you are,
Where you are,
Where you are.

I'm a lingering ghost,
Of scarcity, the place I use to be.
But now I love the most,
This gypsy life that seems to have chosen me.
And Through my time here,
I never spend my nights alone,
'Cause there you are.
Track Name: Build Your Own Home
I can see it in your eyes that you don't want to know,
You want to hold onto what you've got and never let it go.
But you might be great at something that you never thought you would be.

You got to leave what you're used to,
to figure out what you were meant to do.
I don't want you to fail or want you to fall,
But you've got to crawl.

It's like you're scared to get out and find what else it is you might love,
You refuse to break out of that box that your childhood had built up.
You don't really know yourself until you spend some long nights alone.
You've got to get out there and figure out how to build your own home.

I can tell you first hand it's hard to take your hands off that wheel,
But you've gotta understand to shut off the inhibition you feel.
Ain't no one gonna do it for you,
The first step you take is all your own.

Half the time it's taken alone,
And to fight it is like getting water from a stone.
That's why there's such thing as brave.
That's how soul is grown, I know.

It's like you're scared to get out and find what else it is you might love,
You refuse to break out of that box that your childhood had built up.
You don't really know yourself until you spend some long nights alone.
You've got to get out there and figure out how to build your own home.

Maybe it's the life you lived.
Maybe it's the ground you ran on.
Maybe it's the heart you brought home to your mama.
Maybe it's a hard turn around.
And it might have been a long way down,
But I promise you it's all written for reason.

It's like you're scared to get out and find what else it is you might love,
You refuse to break out of that box that your childhood had built up.
You don't really know yourself until you spend some long nights alone.
You've got to get out there and figure out how to build your own home.

Home.
Home.
Home.
Track Name: Standing On The Edge
Promise me that you'll be okay,
when I'm on my way out the door.
Promise me that you'll never stop,
wandering like you did before.

Nobody's gonna tell you why you will,
Nobody's gonna tell you how.
But when you leave and trust the road instead,
You follow your heart not just your head.

Promise me that you'll really leave this time around,
Like you never did.
Promise me that you won't look back,
You won't look back,
Don't you dare look back.

It ain't strange to want to run away,
Some of us just aren't born to stay.
The road ahead us is calling your name,
Hey, I promise you'll be okay.

You said it yourself that you want to get out of this town,
You want to get out of the state you're in.
You said it yourself that you're really leaving this time,
Yeah, you really mean it this time when you go away.

Promise me that you'll never let,
Your heart sink on itself.
Promise me that you'll listen close,
To the open road all around.

We forget to live life like the rest,
We all pay to live on free land.
I hope you get the same chills I did,
When you're standing on the edge.